In which I fly badly.
My booking last week was cancelled due to the plane I was booked on being in for a service, so today, 2 weeks later, I got to fly again. I was hoping to finish my pre-licence check today but unfortunately it was not to be.
I preflighted 4964 (yay not 5231!) and we took off from 36L, but soon had to do an orbit on downwind as the wind changed slightly and started coming from the south, meaning that 18 became the active runway.
The first thing we did was a prec search. This was the first time I’d done a prec search on 18 and it was slightly disconcerting to see how much more I had to think about it simply because the picture was different. I ended up a little close in on my first search leg (750ft AGL) but overall it wasn’t too bad.
Then we did 2 flapless landings and a short field and all I can say about all of them was that I was having an off-day and they were all pretty terrible. J actually had to come onto the controls twice to help me which hasn’t happened in a while and I definitely didn’t want it to happen today!
I have to say that I flew pretty terribly today – my approaches were a bit unstable, my landings were fairly bad and I wasn’t correcting for the slight crosswind enough which led to some quite messy turns onto final. I think I had put pressure on myself thinking that this might be the end of my pre-licence check and wanting to fly really well and as I started flying badly, and knew that I was, I put even more pressure on myself and the whole thing snowballed. I am so so disappointed in my flying today, I can’t believe I flew so badly. I knew fairly quickly that I wasn’t going to be finished with my pre-licence check today and I have to admit that even if I had been told that I could book in for my test, I would have said no – I was very displeased with my flying.
During one of of the circuits I forgot to raise the flaps after takeoff. I was trying to work out why the engine didn’t seem to be producing as much power, despite full throttle, then after turning onto downwind J suggested “Perhaps you should rise the flaps?” I was just like “Ooops, let’s just pretend I didn’t do that” 😛
So, next week I have another round of circuits with J. I’m a bit worried about it, I feel like I’ve lost my confidence somewhat – I feel like I’ll just mess it up again. I keep telling myself to be positive, that I can fly circuits and I’ll be fine, but after my flying today I just feel like I’ll fly like that again next week.
One of my main problems is that I do not have a good relationship with practical tests – I used to do music exams and my teacher would say that I got a whole grade lower than I should have simply because of my nerves!
Still, maybe I can hope that I’ve done my lot of bad flying for a while and gotten rid of all my nerves here and I’ll be fine for next week and, hopefully not long after that, the test. But I still have this feeling that I’ve lost my confidence and next week will be the same as today.
Guess I’ll just have to wait and find out.